2. Ask a girl if they wanna see your Foster's fridge
3. Piss in someone's suitcase
4. Clean the toilet with someone's toothbrush
5. shag lou
6. pull off the asian look...without being asian
7. burn 'the' paper
8. lose a bet on cheating on my girlfriend - ouch
9. put a rock through my girlfriends window
10. put my head through a window
11. cheat on my girlfreind then tell her about it (soooo 17.23 yesterday - Point 8) 12. get banned from the local asda.
13. shoot a rabbit
14. Cry someone a river
15. Have a one night stand with Ngarie
16. Bite my housemates's tit
17. try to weasel into TH
18. Nail hotpants!
19. Get an orange thrown at me by Joycey
20. Survive on 5 bananas a day and lose 12 stone in the process
21. always have the volume on the radio on multiples of 5
22. make love to a beautiful girl to green days 'time of your life'
23. teach Chemistry in Spanish
24. Tell a girl I wanna rape her
25. get stalked by looosey goosey
26. hack down Greg Porter on the hallowed turf and claim it was an accident.
27. get a sweet fat arse
28. Claim for weights on insurance
29. Fight over who liked Emma's Mikey first
30. Make a girl cry whilst making love to them
31. Meet Gustavo Poyet
32. Show a gay feller my penis
33. Dress up in Kerry's clothes
34. Win Wheatley Fight Club
35. Get the left shoe stolen from every pair I have
36. Steal Little John's 8-ball
37. video a CHINESE girl having a shower in wheatley - and hear her scream
38. dream of Abbas being on top of me
39. Seal a trout to the back of someone's drawers and let it to rot for a few days
40. Ask my ex girlfriend if her dog is called Bailey...?
41. Attend 'Hit n Run'
42. have a fff....... inch cock
43. get a stiletto thrown at my head
44. Make my friend cry cos he wont move in with me
45. Stop being under the THUBM
46. Record an album...and then lose it
47. Live next door to Alice
48. Be a racist
49. put washing up liquid in someone's soup and watch them eat it
50. develop a bald spot
51. Get Athers' little sister's fone number
52. Be forcibly robbed in your own home
53. Draw a robot to show your love for someone
54. Spend the night with Suzie and deny that anything happened
55. Spend the night with "East West" and deny that anything happened
56. Be able to listen and talk into my mobile phone at the same time
57. Get some Ribena
58. 'Dye' my hair ginger
59. P...P...P...P...Pick up a pound!
60. Be accused of being a 'Sell Out'
61. Have Callum tell you about his baseball bat... "And I don't play baseball if you know what I mean". Whatever you Scottish twat (No offence Ali!)
62. Be given a 12-digit phone number by a fat bird
63. Build a wall of chicken wing boxes
64. Get asked by a prostitute if I want 'some business'
65. Play TATU 'All the things you said' on full volume, on repeat between the hours of 9am to 5pm, everyday...!
66. Walk 5mins on campus without getting into small talk with a random
67. spend all day in my room gambling when i should be doing work
68. put a friend on HOT or NOT and not tell them because their score was so low.
69. go clubbing wearing a Kappa jumper
70. Throw shit all over the floor
71. Have more than one mouse die in my room
72. Find my ‘stolen’ phone underneath my pillow
73. Eat brie and pancetta
74. Serenade an old woman with a Christmas Carol after a whole days drinking
75. Get food poisoning from a sausage
76. Throw muffins at passing students from my window
77. Miss out the ice cube game to stay in and watch Arsenal lose in the Champions League
78. Have sausage, chips and beans for dinner for a whole year
79. Exist solely on Rustlers™ Rib Sandwiches
80. Perform live in Eights bar
81. Go back to 7 Leopold Street, kick the door in and fall onto your back while run away
82. Appear in the Local Council's 'Keeping Oxford Safe' leaflet
83. Be involved in a high-speed chase after egging a car
84. Have sex in an 'orchard'
85. Have sex on a bridge
86. Have sex (Chris)
87. Puke in the front garden before departing for a night out…and still pull
88. Shave off your pubic hair
89. Have your picture in the Sun looking gumpy after Paolo DiCanio scores against your club
90. Eat Twiglets from a bag hidden under your duvet
91. Scratch Chido's breast in a game of truth or dare
92. Think of something suitable to rhyme with ‘celery’
93. Fall off the back of a moving milk float resulting in my face looking like the elephant man
94. Purchase an unopened tub of chocolate body sauce
95. Smash the windows of the local mosque
96. Go otter
97. Set someone back one
98. Get arrested for allegedly kicking wing mirrors off of parked cars
99. Win the 'extraordinary league of gentleman'
100. Wee on Chris’ bedroom floor in front of him, but tell him you were pouring water.
101. pour a large bin full of water at little johns door and break his PC
102. Put a dangerous amount of laxotives in someone's drink and make them explode like a 'volcano'
103. Buy shares in Oggrish.com
104. Keep a bottle of baby oil and some tissues beside your bed
105. Flush after taking a piss or….
106. At least empty your Valon bottle!
107. Buy more sugar and tea
108. Be a northerner
109. get shot by your own team when paintballing as your walk out the game after being shot by the other team
110. find an industrial salt and vinegar flavouring cube in a salt and vinegar crips packet and eat it.
111. Get a tattoo in another language when traveling and not tell anyone what it means because i'm so ashamed.
112. Get a 2:1 after being caught for plagiarism
113. produce and maintain a betting spreadsheet to monitor your gambling activities
114. Getting tricked into admitting Chido is fit
115. Score against Tommo in Pro Evo after 28 secs
116. Stop living the lie
117. Learn how to spell my name correctly (BOLOTN)
118. Have a shared love for all things Thundercats
119. Become partial to the Cypriot delicacy of Knor cheese
120. Take pictures of your mates cock while he’s asleep…with his camera!
121. Get thrown into an industrial bin in order to retrieve the K-Floor Board
122. Get a lip infection and look more like chido than chido
123. Look more like Alkesh than Alkesh
124. Move everything out of someones room into the corridor and watch Reservoir Dogs on their bed
125. Get to know Vikki just because you pissed on their mates door
126. Turned your house into a hamster breeding station
127. Dashed yourself with water
128. Shouted 'stromboli' in Asda
129. Redecorated the roof of the Wheatley libary with useless leftovers from our room
130. Borrow a condom in order to pump one through Nigire (-Elizabeth)
131. Hide a dead rabbit in the fire extinguisher cabinet
132. watch a girl in another block get unchanged repeated for the whole year and fondly refer to her as "strippy"
133. send an email behind my mates back and not get caught out
134. Be in the same room as Max Hoyland and James Bolton
135. Get busted calling Nick a marshmallow man (when nick was a fatty and was wearing an all white tracksuit)
136. Think that Wing Yip is a prostitute
137. Watch ‘We Were Soldiers’ on the recommendation of George the Asda employee
138. Prove everyone wrong
139. Have a Dervish Rotisserie chicken in a tub
140. Buy a new Gomez T-Shirt
141. Be on first name basis with our local Kebab vendor
142. Enter playground under the name of 'Paulo Frinelli'
143. enlist in Ali’s gym
144. Put my body clock out by 7hrs by going to bed at 8am in the morning
145. Leave shit marks all over the toilets (wheatly) and blame it on ali
146. 'Bosch' ed with flour as he steps out of the shower
147. Wank on the oxford tube
148. Wank in the diabled toilets in brookes library
149. Not come out of K15 for days on end
150. Break the first rule of drinking
151. Turn into the geek out of American Beauty and film everything with a video camera that occurrs in the second and third terms.
