Meet the Team...

Ed 'Boy Next Door' Miller
















Chris 'Iser' Anandan
















Alastair 'Captain' Bratt












Osman 'Bad Boy' Dervish













Julian 'Ribena King' Underhill




















Alan 'Mini Celebrant' Parkinson



The Captain at work:

Them's The Rules...

Rules of TH

1.1: Thou shall not use baby oil willy-nilly
1.1.1.0: Thou shalt not walk and drink at the same time
1.2.66.1: Thou shalt make the effort to attend any type of reunion, with the only forgivable reason being death of a relative or imminent death or yourself or relative (only applicable to members outside the M25)
1.5.13.6: Thou shalt not drop your brethren on their heads
1.23.3: Thou shalt not have brethren of greater handsomeness than thou

2.34.55: Sleaziness is next to godliness
2.3.9: Thou shalt live on a diet consisting of one of the following: Frozen packaged foods; Pre cooked home made meals; Microwavable or pre cooked homemade curry; Knor, pasta and ketchup
2.3.9.1: Thou shalt eat dinner in one sitting
2.3.9.2: Thou shalt exist solely on Rustlers BBQ Ribs
2.3.9.3: Thou shall not steal others food
2.76.4: Thou shalt display excitement in the form of a mini celebration

3.2.7: Thou shall not blow out TH for girls
3.7.1.13: Thou shalt not turn down bitches
3.7.1.13.1: Though shall hunt the bitches down
3.8.1.26: Thou shalt not sell out
3.8.2.18: Thou shalt get Ribena
3.42.8.6: Thou shalt always set one back one

4.1: Random bets always win
4.4.5: Thou shall not get chung

5.23.4.75: Thou shalt befriend local kebab vendor
5.43.54: Thou shalt live in Wheatley in your first year or else be cast out of 3/4 of all banter

6.1.12.36: Thou shalt only download material that one gets pleasure from
6.1.12.37: Thou shalt take pleasure in watching videos of Ken Bigley
6.2.99: Thou who does not banter, shalt not complain about lack o’ banter
6.632.696 Thou shalt look like Alkesh


7.8.1.1: Thou shalt always give agreeable reactions to Naomi de-cloaking
7.334.1: Thou shalt weasel

8.1.1: Thou shalt not covet thy friend in thy mind in thy sexual encounters
8.2.3: Thou shall take whores back to a hotel
8.5.91.3: Thou shalt not be aroused by talk of paedophiles
8.19.35.4 Thou shalt look really old when they are in their mid twenties

9.6.8.25: Thou shall refrain from fatties (breached by all)

10.2.5.2: Thou shalt not leave a log in the microwave

Welcome to the Home of Handsome!

In the autumn of 2003 a group of four housemates from Oxford Brookes University, dared to dream a dream...

Individually, they were as eclectic as they came: A broody Scot; the son of a preacher man; a turk; and a geeky asian with glasses, but they shared a common vision, a destiny which had brought them together and the formed a team, the likes of which had never been seen or seen since. They became...TEAM HANDSOME...!Loosely based on the life of 'Chicken' Stu from Big Brother 5, the Cowley based quartet made it their mission to give the women of Oxford what they so desperately needed, a reason for being!

Founder Members:

Alastair Bratt: Captain/Spiritual Leader
Ed Miller: Boy next door
Osman Dervish: Bad Boy
Chris Anandan: Left Wing


In the Autumn of 2004, riding on a crest of overwhelming support and popularity...the Team unanimously decided to spread its wings...accutely aware of the fact that they were logistically based in and around the London area, they decided to search for a new member...and so on a sultry September afternoon...Team Handsome were proud to unveil its newest member...Alan Parkinson - Mini Celebrant!..signed for the princely sum of a doner kebab meal and three snakebites...and they havent looked back since...!!!


With the transfer set to close, TH dipped into the market in Sept 2007 and announced the signing of Julian Underhill from Bovingdon FC for the princely sum of a 2pc chicken and chips meal (with Sprite), a Garlic Naan and six double vodka red bulls in a pint glass.
Julian Underhill - Ribena King...After being unveiled to the media, Captain Bratt spoke of his pride at what he deemed was the 'coup of the Century'. Underhill is set to make his first team debut, when the lads meet up in October for the season-defining re-union fixture